A little blog about the life of a somewhat lost dreamer....looking for my grace in this crazy world.

19 February 2013

So, last year...

Pretty close to this time my father was brought to a hospital here in Lexington.  He had blood clots in his lungs and the prognosis looked pretty bleak.  He's obviously doing far better, but it's taken me this whole year to get to the point where I have obtained a bit of balance.  To be honest with you, the first few months were simply emotionally exhausting.  Between balancing my work day, visiting my father every single day, and trying to deal with all the other changes going on with my own kids... the end of the day was just a time to turn everything off.  EVERYTHING... including my journaling.

It's taken me this long to be back in a place where I feel like I can begin again... and this weekend, I did just that.

I have a bunch of watercolour paper already cut into half sheets, long half sheets rather than just half sheets.  They're 4.5" wide, 12" tall.  I began with a coat of gesso, and then some blue paint.

A little bit of a page from a music history book, and suddenly there is grass.

Some circles cut from a different old book... a bit of orange paint, then some red, then some yellow, a bit more orange, some hot pink... maybe a bit of green... leaves...

A few smaller circles, painted a nice bright orangie-yellow... a few strokes from a Sharpie.

And some of the worst penmanship of my life... and it seems somehow very appropriate in this instance...

A bit of trimming on the sides... and there it is, my first journal page in over a year.

It's a realization that I've discovered over the last six months or so... "When I stopped trying to create a "perfect" piece of art I started creating my best work".  A very interesting observation, don't you think?

4 comments:

Carol- Beads and Birds said...

It gives you something to think about. My grandson always says I think to deep and am always looking for "the reason". I'm thinking you came to terms with all those father emotions which must have released subconscious restraints. But then, I never saw a piece of your art that I didn't admire. Its good to have your world back on balance, isn't it.
xx, Carol

Gill said...

I love this! and the words are just perfect!!

Eileen Bergen said...

I'm so happy to see some of your journaling again! It's lovely and you're correct, the sloppy penmanship (Did June really do that?!) works in this piece.

Cherie said...

Interesting observation indeed! I love this page, and glad you're back at it.

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