A little blog about the life of a somewhat lost dreamer....looking for my grace in this crazy world.

08 February 2012

Wednesday

I haven't made it any secret that I am the product of a very dysfunctional family. Close to 30 years ago my father made it very clear to me that he wanted nothing more to do with me. I've spent a portion the last few days sitting beside his bed in the hospital. I'm not sure he even recognizes who I am.

It's strange. Sitting beside a stranger who you know is half of the reason you exist. More strange contemplating the inevitable death of your last parent, even if you really don't know him.

I'm emotionally drained, and I'm sorry for not having anything to bring to this blog right now. One of the great truths of life is that, this too, shall pass. Things will return to their norm, I will have things to fill pages, so please bear with me for a time...

17 comments:

Sarah Lou said...

I dont know what to say. but Im thinking of you.

Carol- Beads and Birds said...

Believe me, I know dysfunction and the thoughts and emotions it causes. I also know that at the end, you do what you need to do for your own peace. I forgave, said goodbye, and stayed to the end. I hope you find closure and a peace within.
xx, Carol

Roberta said...

I am so sorry for your pain. I can't imagine what you are going through or have gone through with this. I hope you are OK.

Snap said...

Sending you hugs.........

Cyndi L said...

{{{June}}} There is no reason to worry about your online friends. We are here and will be here.

Carol said...

This too shall pass.
And we will be here waiting with open arms for your return.
Take whatever time you need.
Just remember there are others in the world who care about you!

jinxxxygirl said...

I'm so sorry June.....No worries about us being here.....we'll be here when you get back. Hugs! deb

gill said...

I'm thinking of you June!
I was lucky enough to have fantastic parents so I can't imagine what you're going through

Ladydy5 aka: Diane Yates said...

You are certainly doing the right thing, for yourself.
Your father does not know how much he has missed as I see you as a very
talented, concerned person and we know you only by your blog.

Cherie said...

Praying for you June! I too, know dysfunction, and how difficult it is to say goodbye to a parent who treated you poorly. You are in my thoughts, my friend! Don't worry about us, just do whatever you need to in order to keep yourself the healthy and creative woman you are.

Magpie Sue said...

You will be in my thoughts and prayers too. What a difficult place to be. I do feel sorry for your father, he missed out on a lot. Peace to you my friend.

West Michigan Quilter said...

So sorry to hear of your pain. Sending a big hug your way.

Kissingmonkey said...

<3

Joyce at Calico Paint said...

Hang in there. We are with you.

Mary Helen-Art Saves Lives said...

Sit in the silence...let your heart feel the inevitable...know you are so loved and you are still here! I am sending you warms thoughts and hugs. Peace, Mary Helen Fernandez Stewart

Katiejane said...

I can relate to your situation. I am that way with my mother. Sigh. Strange place to be in, for sure.

Trish said...

I am so sorry you are having to go through this - it is a tough thing in the best circumstances. Just know, over here, I am holding you up in prayer for comfort and peace - and for being there for the one who should have been there for you. Says a lot about your character.
You're in my thoughts and my heart.

Trish

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