Ok...it's no secret that I am going to be turning 50. Not like I'm hiding it from anyone...not like I could if I wanted to, it is a cold, hard fact...BUT, really..I had no idea how many pieces of junk mail would inundate my mail box in the months prior referring specifically to this momentous event.It's become a joke around my house...I get at least one piece of mail a week offering me some kind of insurance. Mostly burial insurance, some health. This one offers me cash benefits of up to $20,000 in case I die, and I MAY even qualify if I have a health condition...I don't know if I should take this as an offense, or be so glad that so many companies are concerned about my funeral. But, goodness...do they expect me to die just because I'm turning 50? Heck, I know plenty of 60 year olds out there in the world...Obviously, they are concerned about several thousands of my fellow Kentuckians as well...after all, THOUSANDS of us, age 50 to 85, have been accepted so far. Who knew these companies could be so concerned about us, is that really reassuring or what?
I haven't bothered to return the cards to see if I am qualified...I have plenty of life insurance. What I don't have is insurance that guarantees my wandering mind will find its way home...or one that guarantees my boobs will drop no lower than half way down my stomach...or that my thighs won't turn to cottage cheese...or that my middle won't suddenly be larger around than those boobs that sit half way down it...and we will not even begin to mention the insurance I need for my behind, heaven forbid I find myself with a case of the dreaded butt dimples (I'm sure they are already there, I just choose not to look so I can lie to myself and think that they aren't.)...and, what about insurance that provides me with the filters I need as I grow older that prevent me from saying what I REALLY think...THAT's the kind of insurance I want...why am I not getting flyers offering me that?
I haven't heard from AARP yet...maybe they can offer me something?
15 comments:
When fifty rolled around, I started counting backwards. It makes me happy. I'm hoping my body and mind will "catch on". I'm now 48..47...something like that.
AARP will come a callin'...soon enough... Glad that there is humor in seeing those little 'reminders' every week...otherwise, we'd all be over-insured and halfway in the grave by 50!
Well, don't worry about it until they start asking you if you would like the senior citizen discount when you go out to eat ~lol~
xx Carol
Oh you are so lucky that you haven't heard from AARP yet, I started hearing from them at 47, go figure???!!!! Anyway, I think the special guarantee insurance you have created will be the biggest hit ever! Maybe you have found a new niche and can make millions, hum?? Just an idea, Lord knows I would buy it but I need one of those conditional clauses because my boobs are already hanging pretty low...LOL!
Have a great day! God bless, Cathy
I am instituting Christina's idea...I think it is marvelous!
LOL..at the over insured and half way to the grave Joie...my insurance agent would LOVE it if that were the case...
Carol...I won't worry until they do start asking if I want the discount...BUT, if they keep calling me ma'am, I might start carrying a cane to beat them with...
Cathy...girlfriend...I am so with ya on the boobs...and nope...no AARP, just all these "death benefit" insurance things...and my feelings are just hurt, 'cause EVERYONE I know started getting their info way ahead of that 50th birthday...maybe they are just planning a special birthday surprise for me???? LOL
I know at least a couple of friends at work are already plotting...and the Little One wants to help them...so, let's just hope I am around after to report on it!
LOL, well welcome to the club!! I'm a proud member of AARP, and they do keep sending out crap as well, but there are some good things they offer (discounts for one.)
LOL with the rest of you! I've been putting up with this stuff for more than a decade, but there are some benefits to being a "senior citizen". Discounts at department and grocery stores, museums, concerts. No fines for overdue books at the local library. Having my retired father-figure doctor, dentist and chiropractor replaced by cute hunks that call me "Sweety". Not having to show ID to buy alcohol :) Hey, being 67 ain't that bad!
Woooooo hoooo...I get to have young hotties call me sweetie???? Who cares about the discounts...when does that benefit kick in???? (Unless, of course, I can get a discount on that benefit...then it's a double woo hoo!!!)
Well, let's see I turned $49.99 plus shipping & handling a few years ago! I get all the "senior" junk mail now.
and your neck? is your neck perfect? lol.
LOL...at $49.99...you know, it's always the shipping and handling that gets ya...
and...arghh...I forgot about the neck...just one more thing for me to be looking at this morning...(note to self..be sure and check on droopy neck insurance...)
Hi June,
Would you like me to call AARP for you? I seem to have an "in" with them as I receive at least one letter or e-mail announcement a week. I guess they don't want me to feel lonely in my dotage.
Trouble is, I'm too busy enjoying my life. Maybe we should tell them all, "We're not THAT old yet!"
And ditto on the young hunky doctors. They seem to be graduating them younger every year. Or are my eyes going along with my hearing ... hey? Whad ya say?
LOL...sure Eileen, you put in a good word for me with AARP...and I'll be sure you aren't left off the list of these wonderful insurance providers...seems a fair trade...LOL
I know they are graduating the docs younger every year...I know a couple graduating this year and I swear they were just in diapers not long ago...I just have to steer clear of the ones I knew since they were babies...LOL
love your insurance ideas..too funny! heck..i got AAPR,hearing aids,Neptune Society,Funeral packages..all before I turned 50!
Boobies,tummy,thighs and butt can be made pretty with the right clothes......
forehead wrinkles....bangs are cheaper than botox!!!
even better..embrace yourself and your wealth of life and knowledge that you have aquired over the years...your brain can only hold so much,thats why your other parts may droop...smart is heavy!!!!!!!!
Wow....I haven't even heard of the Neptune Society...I am VERY impressed...
I got an email the other day from Joycie, it explained how smart is heavy, and that's why a woman's butt gets bigger...even suggests that's where the term "smart ass" came from...I printed it and hanged it up...I like thinking my butt is bigger because I just keep getting smarter...it's as good an excuse as any, and far better than some...lol
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