Then back to the real world of work tomorrow. 2010 has arrived, something I could not have fathomed seeing...I remember being young and thinking that the year 2000 was so far off. It's a unique and special thing to be born far enough into a century to get to meet the next one...that frantic space from Halloween to New Year is tucked away and put to bed for a few months, and now I am looking at an expanse of possibility ahead of me. Although, right now it seems a horribly frigid expanse, I know that soon enough I'll be hearing the songs of birds waking me, and the trees will be bursting into bloom...that nagging little layer of yellow oak pollen will be everywhere before I know it, and I'll be enjoying those long, sultry nights of summer scented with magnolias and lit by fireflies...My eldest will be leaving this fall to make his life in another part of the country...he has no idea how much I will miss him when he goes, and probably won't until he has a child of his own making the same move. My youngest will be making own move to begin life on her own at the same time...college for her this fall. I think it is horrid that they both are doing this at the same time. I really thought that spreading them out with a seven year age difference I would have had space between each so that I could get used to the idea. Alas...those best laid plans...
So, this leaves me.I guess there is no more putting off what direction my life will take just because I was busy mothering a couple other individuals. This is so much scarier than it was when I was eighteen. Then I believed everything was possible, now I understand my limitations far more...and I understand that, no matter what you plan for your life, things have a way of disrupting those plans. Heaven knows I never expected to be at this point and basically beginning again....and, in many ways that is the beauty of this thing we call life...we learn that reality is dealing with "Plan B"...whatever that turns out to be. Luckily, life only flows in one direction, and that is forward...
But, that's for tomorrow...For today, I think I will simply breathe...
3 comments:
I hear you sister.
Yeah, this so resonated with me - not the children leaving but the not expecting that I'd be starting again at this stage in my life. It's a bit overwhelming but also (in my more positive moments) quite exciting, isn't it? Right now though, I'm just feeling shell-shocked by the return to work and daily routine after the lovely timelessness of the holidays!
Wishing you a 2010 that brings you everything you dream of and more!
Definitely overwhelming at times...and, when the sun shines around here, it has it's exciting moments. I just wish the sun (or something magical) shone a bit closer to the path I am supposed to be taking so I could see a bit more illumination!
Post a Comment